To lend or not to lend people money

Over the years I have come to change my perspective on lending people money based on reality as against idealism.

Never had any reason to borrow money from anyone outside those I played pashi with in our Students Center while in the university especially when you have exhausted the money you have and still want to continue playing pashi.

Pashi players are usually friends so extending small loans to players right there on the table was not an issue.

I met an older friend after my NYSC in Lagos, he lived close to where I was living. He is late now. May his soul continue to rest in peace.

He told me while discussing other issues that as a matter of principle he doesn't believe in lending money to people because some of the people he gave money to in the past didn't return the money while some started dodging him even when they didn't have to.

So, if you ask him to lend some money to you he will tell you he doesn't have but could dash you a fraction of what you asked for and make it clear that the money was dash money not loan.

The principle made sense to me because up till that moment I have never had any need to borrow money from anyone because my needs were always met by family backed by Nigerian Army through support and contracts they gave to my family from 1978 when my dad died till around 2006 when the last contract to supply every single food both military hospitals in Yaba and Ikoyi needed ended since it was no longer necessary.

Fast-foward to sometime around 2003 when I decided to say bye bye to paid employment (I got tired of the typical hypocrisy and sycophancy in the work place, some say I am too impatient with nonsense) I needed to buy a laptop and the cost was about N280k for the specs I wanted to buy and even though I saw plenty money when I was working I didn't have this culture of saving money so I was spending money as it came.

My cousin, late now (may his soul rest in peace) overhead me talking about wanting to buy a laptop one of the days he visited and offered to lend me the money. I accepted since I knew he would definitely get his money back and he gave me a cheque of N300k. A few months after I started using the laptop I bought to build websites for a few people I had his money ready and went to his place to inform him while asking for his bank account details.

He started laughing and said I shouldn't worry. I told him I had the money and I was sure it was a loan arrangement not dash money. He told me he knew I would not collect the money from him if he had offered to dash me the money that he knew me too well to know how I would react so he used the loan strategy to hand over the money to me. He ended with - your dad was good to me (my dad was the last born and his mum was the first born in a family of 4 from same father and mother).

I thanked him and left.

I have never taken a loan from any bank to run my business till date.

Now, apart from the loan turned dash money from my cousin I have experienced 3 different scenarios where those that borrowed me money refused to collect the money at the point of asking them for account numbers to pay back the money.

One was a secondary school classmate (N30k), another was with me at the university (N30k) while the other person is a friend that belongs to one of the All Stars FC that I belong to in Lagos (N100k).

Their responses ranged from 'return wetin? abeg keep am we go take am drink beer when next I visit' to 'bros, don't bother, use am do other things, I don't have any need for it'.

These 3 friends would read this and I have deliberately decided not to mention their names but they did what I never expected and didn't like even though the reasons they gave made me to appreciate their kind gestures. I prefer to respect agreements.

That stated, I am not indebted to any human being, as in, I have never borrowed money that I didn't pay back.

And I have borrowed money from different people, some I have never met till date but as a matter of principle I always returned any borrowed money to those that risked their money.

Now, the fact that I had to borrow money from people made me to reevaluate my previously held principle of not lending people money (I preferred to dash a fraction of the requested funds to giving outright loans based on what I learnt from my late friend) and realised that it was normal for people to run out of cash or have genuine need for money. Even Nigeria as a country dey borrow money only say dem no dey pay back as planned and as as today the country dey borrow money to service the debts wey dem dey owe not to talk of repaying the gbese.

So, these days when someone asks for a loan I simply look at things like honesty and credibility that one could pick about the person from interacting with the person. Trust me, from your words and actions people could tell a lot about how you rank against things like honesty, integrity, credibility, trustworthiness etc.

If the person passes the test I take the risk and loan the person the money while preparing my mind that there remains a possibility that the person might not end up returning the money either deliberately or due to circumstances outside the person's control.

If you fail the test I will offer to give you a fraction of the money as dash if I have enough to spare or simply tell you that it is not convenient.

So, there is no hard and fast rule about lending money to people because some people you believe would never default would default while some people you believe would struggle to pay back would end up paying back and on time too.

Bottom line, things like credibility, honesty and integrity could be picked from spoken words or written stuff.

The fact that I could raise any amount of money I want or need as loan from a few friends without any of them asking for collateral makes me understand how important it is for one's word to count when it comes to thinks like credibility and integrity.

After all said and done it is safe to say that you should only lend people money that you can afford to lose should the people fail to return the money for one reason or the other.

Peace of mind is key. Avoid whatever could affect your peace of mind. Avoid every avoidable problem if you can.